After supper last night, Sam took the kids for a ride. This gave me some time to clean up a little without any interruptions. When he got back, he told me he had some good news and bad news and asked which I wanted first.
I groaned, wondering what the kids had done. Maybe Baby Girl had grabbed something off the shelf at Dollar General and thrown it at someone. Like Little Man. Again. And then Little Man had a meltdown. Again. The good news would be that nothing was broken.
“Just tell me,” I said, scowling in the kids’ direction.
“The good news is that Little Man’s school is haunted. By Michael Jackson’s ghost. The bad news is that Michael Jackson’s ghost is haunting Jake (a boy in LM’s class).”
“What?” I asked, rightfully confused.
“According to LM, it seems that Michael Jackson’s ghost has decided to start haunting elementary schools. And he’s focusing his haunting on Jake.”
“Michael Jackson is haunting an elementary school,” I stated. What the actual fuck? “And he’s haunting Jake.”
“Yep,” Sam said, grinning. “The reason he’s haunting Jake is because Jake said he isn’t a believer.”
I stared at Sam for a moment with what I’m sure was a WTF look on my face. “So Michael Jackson’s ghost is supposedly ticked off because Jake isn’t religious?” I know we live in the Bible Belt, but hadn’t realized that 8-year-olds were using scare tactics on their peers.
Sam threw his head back and laughed. “No, not that. He’s mad because Jake isn’t a believer in him, his music, or his ghost. So some of the girls are sneaking up behind Jake yelling ‘oooh!’ and someone wrote ‘Jake, Michael Jackson’s ghost was here’ on the smartboard.”
So not even this MJ:
But this one:
I shook my head and laughed. “Michael Jackson’s ghost is haunting kids in an elementary school? I can’t even.” This is more absurd than the time Little Man came home convinced his friend was a CIA spy because he was wearing a toy spywatch.
Little Man jumped into the conversation at that point. “That’s right, Mom! Jake should never had said he didn’t believe in Michael Jackson.”
“What do you know about Michael Jackson?” I asked, as we aren’t into his music, so I wouldn’t have thought LM, let alone an entire elementary school class, would know who he is.
“I know he’s the musician who’s haunting our school,” LM said.
“Is this bothering Jake?” I asked.
“No. Like I said, Jake doesn’t believe in Michael Jackson. I wonder if he’ll haunt me next?” Little Man asked excitedly.