Warning: Do not read this post and drink. The risk of keyboards being ruined is high with this one.
Once upon a time, people hated Mondays. They saw this day as the start of another long week full of working, classes, parenting, etc. Now people are all “Can the weekend go by quicker? I wanna shirk my responsibilities for a few minutes and meet a new blogger! TGIM! TGIM!!!!!”
Okay, maybe not. But, it is indeed Monday, and it’s time to meet a blogger. The person you’re meeting this week is Stephanie from Stephanellaneous. That blog name alone should be enough to make you get over there and click the “Follow” button, but if you need a little more convincing, know that Stephanie writes one of the most honest and humorous blogs out there. Still don’t believe me? Then read the damn interview, already!
Tell us, what got you into the very addictive world of blogging?
I was promised servants. Nude male servants. Lies. All lies. But since I’d been off and on with blogging for years, I thought I’d give it another go. It has proven to be a great outlet for emotional release. It sounds cliche, but it has been quite therapeutic. And I keep coming back because the community I’ve found here is stellar. You all have lifted me up and kept me comforted and sane in my darkest hours, shared countless belly laughs with me and just been fanfuckingtastic friends. That is, when I don’t drop off the planet for days and days.
What are three of your best posts so far? Links and tell us what makes them important to you.
I’m bad with rules! I’m a rebel! Damn the man! So I’m giving you four! That’s right. Call the Po Po Ho!
These are four of my favorites:
a. The Wallpaper – This one is deeply personal. It’s a fiction piece, which is something I’ve been trying my hand at lately. And it’s full of symbols and metaphors. I was very pleased with how it turned out, which is rare for me – to be pleased with something I’ve written. And, as I said, it’s deeply personal to me and my life.
b. C is for Cookie, but M is for Mottos. Which is what this post is about. Not cookies. Now I want cookies. Thanks Obama. – This one is silly and serious at the same time. It starts out with complete nonsense, but then I go into why it’s important to have a positive motto and live life for today. Don’t wait. Grab it by the horns and GO!
c. Newsflash: Time Marches On (aka The Year Ends. Every. Fucking. Year.) – This is a seriously ranty post. And I love to rant. It has to do with how people at work have the same conversations every day, every week, every month, every year. And it drives me fucking bananas! FUCKING BANANAS! (Ew, now I have a visual of bananas fucking. Sorry about that.)
d. The One Where Stephanie Finally Does a Top Ten Post (aka Stephanie Posts Again in the Same Week. It’s a Christmas Miracle!) – Another super ranty one – mostly about coworkers. The ranty ones seem popular, cuz people think they’re funny. And that makes me happy. So do cookies. And hedgehogs. And sloths. Can someone get me a baby elephant? For fucks sake. What’s it take around here to get a happy exotic animal with a side of cookies?
What would your Motivational Poster say?
Butterbeans are assholes. No, no. I like this one better: If you get out of bed, you’ll have to do the same fucking thing you do every damn day. So don’t get out of bed.
Okay, okay. I’ll be serious. My Motivational Poster would actually be a Henry Rollins quote: “No such thing as spare time. No such thing as free time. No such thing as down time. All you got is life time. Go.” I recently found it, and I’ve brought it close to my heart and am holding it there. And it’s an important reminder for me, every single day, to get off of my ass and get in the driver’s seat of my own life.
What is the funniest lie you busted someone telling you?
Let’s see. When was this? I believe it was my freshman year of high school. My best (only) friend was constantly trying to one-up me. Introvert here, remember? So I really didn’t give a shit. I was an angry, moody wallflower who would open up and be vulnerable and giggly only in her presence. I was jealous of her outgoing nature and the way boys responded to her (she was stacked and willing). And she was jealous of me in other ways. I didn’t realize it then, but certain things make sense now. Anyway. I was totally into music. It was deeply important to me, and I was always listening to something new and cool. Or, at least, new to me. At the time, I was hardcore into Zeppelin, Dylan, The Doors, etc. So one day, Wonderfuck (that’s what I’ll call her) flips her hair and brags, “You may know The Doors’ music better than I do, but I saw them in concert!” I choked on my blue cream soda and calmly asked, “Are you being serious right now?” And of course, she thought I was jealous. That is until I fell backward on the bed and laughed my ass off. I laughed until it hurt and my throat was raw. Wonderfuck didn’t understand. Seriously, she was clueless. So I asked her who else showed up at the seance. She didn’t get it. And since she later tried to sleep with my boyfriend, I hope that she thinks of that day over and over and over and feels foolish and stupid. What a ho.
If you were in a band, what would the name be?
I can’t decide. You know The Mars Volta? Well, I could be The Jupiter Wattage. But I think Dastardly Dangerdonkeys would suit my personality better. Or Pretentious Puffin and the Dancing Pandas. Yeah. I’m cool as fuck.
If you had to pick another blogger to challenge in a Celebrity Blogger DeathMatch, who would it be? And, naturally, tell us how shit goes down and who the victor is.
I would so totally challenge Josh at My Friday Blog. He is a menace to the blogging community and thinks he’s better than me, cooler than me and has better taste in music. Which pretty much everyone knows is all complete and utter pigshit. I’ve been perfecting the design on my Kiwi Death Blaster 3000, and he would never withstand the violent and steady barrage of angerfruit studded with tiny little razor blades. That is, of course, after I slayed him with my superior wit. Take that, Josh.
Give us three blogs you’re stalking — links and a sentence or two to describe them.
It is really difficult to choose only three. I’ve connected with so many wonderful people here, all of whom have touched me in different ways. But I know I can’t sit here and name every single one of them. So here are three that are very close to my heart.
My Friday Blog. I have to follow this one so that I can see what he’s plotting – it helps me stay one step ahead. I’ve actually linked you to a very special piece that he wrote. The words are special and motivational, and y’all should read it. Aside from that, Josh writes on a myriad of topics. Sometimes you’ll find fiction, sometimes you’ll find rants, sometimes you’ll find politics or social issues, and sometimes you’ll find poetry. He’s freakin’ awesome, for reals. His sense of humor is out of this world.
The World’s Biggest Fridge Magnet. Cameron is a wonderful man with a heart of gold and a fantastic sense of humor. His blog has a lot to do with his weight loss experiences and quite a bit of personal anecdotes mixed in with motivation and wit. He’s currently working on a charity walk to benefit a project called HENRY, which is all about educating and helping young children with health and nutrition. Cameron is a delightful and giving soul whom I’m incredibly grateful to have met.
Want to participate in the Meet A Blogger thing? Comment on the post with your email, or email me at email@example.com, and I’ll add you to the longish list of people I plan to send a short list of questions to that you can take as seriously or as non seriously as you want.