Just Say No

Anyone who’s ever spent much time around a toddler knows that her favorite word is “No.” (Okay, maybe sometimes it’s “Caillou” because some asshole lets her watch it, but mostly it’s “No.”)

Baby Girl is no exception, and she started her Just Say No campaign against us months ago. Frankly, a toddler’s Just Say No campaign can be more annoying at times than the War on Drugs campaign telling everyone to Just Say No.

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At first, she was saying “no” to the expected things — like taking a nap or having her extraordinarily shitty diaper changed (because in a toddler’s world, UTIs are a way to get extra juice when your bitch mom limits you to mostly milk and water). Then we discovered that she’ll say “no” to almost any question asked as long as the words “play” or “cookie” aren’t involved.

“Baby Girl, want to kick the soccer ball?” Little Man will ask.

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And then she runs over and kicks the ball.

“Baby Girl, want  to try some food that isn’t fruit, bread, or yogurt?” I’ll ask.

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She’s for real “no” on that one.

“Baby Girl, want to go to Paw Paw’s house?”

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Moments later, she’ll cry for her Paw Paw.

“Hey Baby Girl, do you like Clemson” Sam asked her. (We hate the Clemson Tigers around here.)

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Yay, “no” worked as planned that time!

How about, “Baby Girl, do you think Trump should be president?”

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Hell yeah, Baby Girl, you know what’s up!

Today, when she was misbehaving, I told her she had to stop throwing books (little heathen) or she would have to sit in timeout. “You don’t want to go to timeout, do you, so no throwing books.”

Instead of saying “no,” she gleefully rant to her little foam Thomas the Tank Engine chair (which was her brother’s once upon a time) and sat down. “Sit in time out!” she shouted. Sigh.

ethannevelyn
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14 thoughts on “Just Say No

  1. Oh, the delights of a child finding they have a voice and that voice can refuse. They feel so powerful! They become tiny megalomaniacs – they would be down right frightening if they weren’t still so tiny you could pick them up and stop them, or so darn cute.

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  2. Funniest No 😀
    My kids had a naughty chair for time out, and the most splendid conditioning occurred when I realized they’d put themselves in the naughty chair just to calm down. Fight with a sibling? Have a seat in timeout. Scared of the smoke detector? Sit in the naughty chair. Just voluntarily sitting there, taking a moment, whether it was a meltdown or a spat…Bless them all, kids and their naughty chairs.

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  3. I have 2 heathens. The time out/naughty chair never worked. Mostly because they knew they could sleep (because the only spot we had was a couch)
    Seems like your BG just loves the sound of the word “no”. and don’t feel bad about the book throwing thing. My heathens still do it. Fuckers.

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  4. She is so cute…..give her anyting she wants!!!!! I insist!!!! LOL so happy mine are all grown, but then I sigh and wish I could have them back for a week or so again….LOL thanks for sharing your kids with me….kat

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  5. Sounds fun!

    My son wrong foots us with politeness saying “no thank you” to nappy changes and naps.

    We’ve responded by switching tactics. Rather than asking if he wants a nap we ask him what part of his menagerie he wants to take up with him. It works for now but I don’t think it will forever.

    The cubs now put each other in time out! And us…

    #FabFridayPost

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