Just Poking Along

You know those people who poke along so much that they make you feel like you have to cut your stride in half? The people that you get behind in Walmart that are walking so slowly that you feel like a little piece of your soul is dying as you wait an eternity to walk around them?

slow-walker

That’s me.

Basically, if we were in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, you’d want to hang with me since I’d be eaten first and you’d have a good head start. Or, to put it in even more current terms, if you’re looking for a Pokemon Go partner, don’t pick me if you’re hoping to catch a lot of them.

When my husband and I are out together, I imagine that people must think he has some rule that says I have to stay 10 feet behind him at all times, since that’s how it often works out.

“Don’t touch the cart!” I’ll tell my husband when he tries to pull it and make me walk faster in the grocery store. This is also why I’m not too big on holding his hand when we’re strolling along. He tries to make me move faster, and being pulled around the park or the store or wherever by your spouse doesn’t exactly scream “the romance is still alive.”

It’d be nice if I could blame being a “slow folk” (what toddler Little Man would say when he’d try to be like his daddy and call me a slow poke) on some of my joint issues as of late, but the truth is that I’ve always moved like I have lead in my feet. I got my nickname of Pokey in high school for a reason, after all.

slowly-slowly-sloth

My spirit animal (and one of my favorite children’s stories).

You know what’s nice, though? Toddlers.

Yeah, a toddler is like a little sorcerer when it comes to making your energy disappear and increasing it tenfold for themselves, but they have benefits that extend beyond being awesome cuddlers, and for me that is making me appear to be less of a slow walker. In fact, I look like one of the most patient people in the world when I’m walking beside Baby Girl hand-in-hand, as you’ll rarely see me pulling at her arm and coaxing her to speed up.

Are you a “slow folk” or are you the one always leaving people behind?


This post comes from The Daily Post’s prompt Slowly.

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34 thoughts on “Just Poking Along

  1. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    HaHa – great post. I am always griping at people that seem to have “no where to go and all day to get there.” Really more driving than walking – doing 55-60 in the left lane when the speed limit is 70 drives me bat-shit-crazy! 😉 LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  2. N. says:

    Lol! I’m the opposite: I move/do stuff way faster than is strictly necessary. I’m the sort that I’ll hover just behind my husband when he’s eating too slowly for my taste and I need that plate to wash and put away 😁 Patience is not my strong point is what I’m saying. Remind me never to go grocery shopping with you 😂😂

    P.s. I’m Muslim and the ‘wife should walk 7-10 steps behind her husband in public’ is an actual thing in Muslim culture in some parts of the world. Maybe you should relocate so your slowness is mistaken for wifely devotion? 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Haha! I don’t ever have to worry about that with my husband — he inhales the food. Putting away the plate is another story.

      That’s interesting, I didn’t realize that. I might have to use that the next time I’m getting an evil look 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dammit…I didn’t mean to send that yet! ANYWAY…I’m that person who is always on a mission. I know the layout of the mall and grocery in order to get in and out and get what I need. I know where the congested places are and how to maneuver through them without bumping into the slow folk. I really wish there were lanes designated for those who move like molasses in shopping places…that they would do much good, like road lanes. Though I am more forgiving of those with toddlers toddlibg around. (All the while I’m hearing “Move Bitch, Get Out The Way!” in my head)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Speed demon… Always have been. Ppl in ha always thought I was pissed cuz I walk determinedly to class at a fast pace- look of concentration on my face. Lol. Just went for a walk with my mil the other day. I was pushing 60+ lbs of toddler and stroller and I was still too quick for her. Didn’t realize I was still like that til then. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I roll my manual wheelchair (not to mention the powerchair) faster than the average pokey person. It seems every time I try to go around one way, the person moves that way, and then again the other way, especially in the grocery store, and Walmart. I think they should mark of a section along one side of most aisles like they mark a bike part on a road or highway. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m speedy. I walk with purpose. I do not go lightly. People like you make me nuts. My MIL and two of my spawn are like that. The kids have gotten better with age, but oh, tests my patience so very much.
    There are many things I would do better if I slowed down. Don’t know how, not anymore than you know how to rush.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. “I can’t walk that fast!” I told my husband forcefully as he rushed into a store just yesterday. Usually I am a fast walker, but my leg and feet are giving me trouble lately so I hobble behind everyone else and they laugh at me.

    Liked by 1 person

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