Things Kids Say Thursday: The ABC Store And Beer

No, I haven’t been boozing in front of my kids, no matter how much they might make me want to sometimes (it would be fun to see how well my knock-off Yeti tumbler does, though). These two boozy comments my kids said are a lot more innocent than the title would have you believe.

The first is a blast from the past (hey, #ThrowbackThursday!). It popped up on my Facebook memories yesterday, which I shared, as a few of y’all have already seen —


That one made me howl with laughter at the time.

The other also comes from earlier this week — from Baby Girl.

When I made chicken parm and spaghetti this week, I knew the odds of BG eating it were about as good as me winning the lottery without buying a ticket. She’s the pickiest kid I’ve ever met and makes even me not look so bad (although maybe I shouldn’t be comparing myself to a toddler). But I was tired and was damned if I was going to fix a separate meal for her. She got a plate of spaghetti, fruit, and Goldfish (don’t judge, they’re the whole wheat kind).

So, we sat down and she instantly refused the spaghetti. “No…uh-uh…Mommy eat this…I get down!” Now I know that I can’t force her to eat it. And I didn’t used to have to try, as she liked spaghetti (and mac and cheese) when she first started non-pureed solids — until she gagged and puked (on both). But I put it in front of her anyway, hoping that she’d come around.

We gently coaxed. “Mmm, Big Girl, look, it’s sketti! Bubba is eating his spaghetti like a big boy! Daddy is eating his spaghetti like a big boy. Yummy!” She responded by holding the spoon several inches from her face, pretending to take a bite, and saying, “Nummy, nummy!”

After several failed attempts, I gave up. She could eat what she wanted from what was in front of her and have her bedtime snack of yogurt and more fruit later. We went about eating and talking about the day when Baby Girl made a request.

“I want beer! Mommy, I want beer!”

“You want what?”

“Beer, Mommy. I want beer!”

I gave my husband a confused look. When he does have a beer, he typically doesn’t have it until the kids are in bed, so who the heck has she heard talking about beer?”

“Mommy, beers! Beers!”

Do you know what she’s talking about? Five million blog karma if you can guess it on your own!

.

.

.

Finally it kicked in for Sam. “Oh, bears. She wants bears. She’s talking about the Teddy Bear Grahams.” Whew! Despite how she acts, I didn’t have a legit Frank the Tank toddler!

frank-the-tank-streaking BG has been known to go streaking, too.

In case you’re wondering, I did try bribing her with those Teddy Bears, despite all the “How To Get Your Picky As Fuck Toddler To Eat All The Foods” parenting books telling me not to. Guess what? It didn’t work.

Got any good booze stories? They can be totally innocent. Or not. Entertain me. ๐Ÿ˜‰


Today kicks off the Taboo Word Challenge created by Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog. Click the link for details and to participate!

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27 thoughts on “Things Kids Say Thursday: The ABC Store And Beer

  1. Worry not, anxious mom. She will not starve (only annoy you to death). My one granddaughter went for months refusing to eat anything but lentils with rice. Now her little brother, age 10 months, hates everything! He’s still plump tho, and she’s very tall for her age (7). I think it’s harder having a kid who’s always asking for more, overheats and is in danger of b coming obese – how can you always go about saying no?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lol that’s gotta be half of it, her trying to drive me crazy. Oh man, that would be tough! I’m always worried about that from my own weight issues (although both kids are lower weight), but I would feel horrible to say box

      Liked by 1 person

  2. HA! That’s great and great opening to the challenge ๐Ÿ™‚ When we lived in VA we ALWAYS called the ABC store the “Teacher Store”. This way would could discuss it in school. At the beach one day this summer, Bang points to a guy sitting in a chair and says (quite loudly of course) “He must be 19”. I ask how he knew and he tells me, “Because he’s drinking alcohol!” He had a beer.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. After three weeks of his refusing to eat anything other than mac n’ cheese or hot dog franks, I took my firstborn son to see the pediatrician, convinced my kid was somehow off the rails. Dr. Louis said, “Give’im a daily vitamin if it makes you feel better. Like most weird phases at this age, he’ll outgrow it.”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. We haven’t had those beers in a long time. I wonder if I should get some choccie Teddy Grahams as a snack? Maybe they miss them….
    So cute with the Nummy Nummy! ๐Ÿ˜€
    I was in despair when Moo didn’t like spaghetti. I got very serious with all 10 months of her, “You are Italian. You must eat spaghetti with marinara, and you must learn to make it from scratch, and you must grow your own tomatoes and herbs. This cannot go on.” Still, she didn’t really start likin pasta until she was 2. :/

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    I absolutely know what you are going through. My daughter due to her food allergies (all dairy and egg products) is a very picky eater but somehow we make it work and she is far from a starving child.

    Liked by 1 person

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