Hooray For Doughnut Holes

I’m going back to the grocery store topic again today.

Sometimes Sam does the grocery shopping and takes the kids with him, which is nice. I get “free time,” which really means I catch up on folding clothes mountain, clean out the fridge, and spend a few minutes (maybe more) visiting the blog world. I used to admire the man for taking both kids shopping. Taking both kids anywhere increases my anxiety quite a bit, especially when we’re running an errand and my focus can’t be solely on them, but Sam has always acted like it’s a piece of cake.

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Little Man and I do just fine shopping when he isn’t hiding under clothes racks to intentionally scare me. Baby Girl and I don’t always do just fine together. There’s always the risk of her having an epic tantrum that’s so bad that I’ll have to leave everything behind while doing the Mom Walk of Shame to the car. You might think that taking both kids shopping would make things easier — since LM could help with BG since he’s a few years older — but you’d be wrong. They often get on great together, but, as siblings do (apparently no matter how much age difference there is), they sometimes aggravate each other to the point of making the other explode. Maybe it’ll be BG flailing around in the cart like an octopus crying because Little Man “shared” her toy. (By “share,” I mean that LM decides to teach BG about sharing by taking her stuff. Sigh.) Or it might be LM huffing and puffing up a storm because BG cuffed him in the head for some reason. You get the picture.

With that in mind, you’d think that Sam wouldn’t be so quick to volunteer. Who wants to put themselves on the parenting front lines when they don’t have to, amirite?

Lest you think he’s SuperDad, I found out his secret. A few weeks ago, we all went out one Saturday to get some groceries. Usually I’m the one pushing the cart and barking out orders, but that time I was being a terrible mother, who was preoccupied with catching certain little monsters doing something on my phone and let him take the lead, and I learned the secret behind his “it ain’t no thing” attitude.

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For starters, Sam put both of the kids in the cart. He didn’t put BG in the seat where she can be safely strapped in, either, but put both of them in the big area. I nearly had a heart attack. (“It’s okay, she likes it…I’m watching her!” he told me.) BG was dancing and squealing while holding onto the side of the cart while LM encouraged her before I insisted on moving her to the seat. Then, Sam grabbed a handful of cookies from the sample box and handed them to the kids to feast on. After that he beelined to the toy section and gave BG a couple of toys to “look at” (which he had no intention of purchasing). And then he started checking stuff off the list, with no problem, except for when BG tried to open the cereal (which Sam helped her finish so she could eat it, too).

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He violated all of my uptight grocery shopping rules. We don’t put monkey toddlers who can bust their heads open in the cart without being strapped in. We don’t take more than our fair share of sample items. We don’t let them take toys we aren’t purchasing and put their grimy little hands all over them. We don’t let them open food in the store.

Oh wait, I don’t.

(I also don’t have to worry about — as I found out — having to “pay back” the store for a doughnut Sam gave Baby Girl out of the case and forgot to pay for last time. Another time it was a banana, he told me.)

Now that I know his secrets, I don’t feel like he has the upper hand with the parenting stuff as much. (Not that it’s a competition, but ya know…) When Baby Girl started sobbing because there were no sample cookies while shopping on Monday, I opened a package of food in the store for the first time ever to keep the peace. Plus one for crappy store doughnut holes, which no one would touch later. And, yes, we paid for them. No petty thefts for the toddler on my end. 😉

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24 thoughts on “Hooray For Doughnut Holes

  1. This may explain why toys (And half empty food packages) seem to get dumped all over the store, but it doesn’t explain why I find so many bras dumped in the detergent aisle. Hmmmm, I don’t have enough for both…. which can I live with most? Dirty clothes or floppy boobies?

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  2. Nothing bothers me more than people opening packages before paying for them and it isn’t always for the kids. Also people that grab a bag of grapes and eat some are stealing. They are no longer in the bag to be paid for period. I hate shopping with my kids who let the kids open food to shut them up. I never would let my little kids do that. They didn’t learn it from me. One of my pet peeves.

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  3. Oh my.
    Naughty.
    I’m the nicer one in stores. They must follow me as the baby ducks follow the mama duck. My husband seems to think they should all be lil soldiers and I’ve heard he yells, “STOP TOUCHING EVERYTHING!” which, as you know, is the way of children. I took the boy one to the store last week and he fondled all the peaches, and he’s 23…

    Toddlers are top-heavy, and they fall out head-down quite easily. Tsk, Sam, tsk.
    I’m awed by the naughty technique of your husband, but then, his fun game IS strong.

    I went to the store with Beauty Queen all the time when Bubba and Sissy were small. Her littlest always had to have a lollipop. I mean, before the shopping, we had to stand in line to buy a lolly or that child would cry her fool head off. She said she’d done it once, when she’d been about starved, got herself a granola bar and bought the baby a lolly, and now she HAD to have the lolly every single time. I swear to you, I didn’t buy my younger kids candy at the store until they were like…Seven and eight? Old, they were old. LOL

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  4. When my husband took my son shopping they always ALWAYS returned with one of those little cars (Matchbox) and guess what? They ended up in a box. Dollars and dollars worth of stuff that was never really played with. And then we passed them on… grrr… Anyway… what did I want to say… oh yes: Men!!!

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  5. When it comes to shopping with kids, you do what you gotta do. We always grab a cookie from the bakery first. It’s how I get them in the grocery store in the first place. I let the littlest ride in the basket (the big part where the food goes) when we’re at Wal-mart. I don’t let him do at the grocery store because he squishes the bread. I don’t let them eat food without buying it first (except for when Crash was toddler. We let him eat a few grapes from the bag.. The store didn’t miss theire 10 cents worth of grapes).

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  6. Oh yes the store tantrums, where you are now the center of attention and you just are having a panic attack/hyperventilating. My son did that like 2 months ago, he screamed the whole time and even in checkout,I was one very upset mama that he got disciplined. What a mean mommy!

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