Last night, my husband and I were talking about Halloween. More specifically, we were talking about candy. I want the good stuff, and he wants whatever is cheapest. He’s like whatever the step up from Ebeneezer Scrooge would be, but for Halloween.
Even if I haven’t always gotten into dressing up for Halloween or decorating for Halloween, I’ve always looked forward to handing out candy to kids. We would only get like two or three trick-or-treaters where I lived at growing up (rural area and all), and those were usually relatives. So now that I live in the only neighborhood in the same rural area, I like to enjoy the handing out of the candy. And I don’t want to give out crappy candy that gets thrown away immediately after kids sort through it all. I also don’t like the idea that someone might come back and TP our yard if we give them a single tiny Tootsie Roll, as Ebeneezer Sam might if I were to leave him in control of the candy. It’s only one night per year and it’s fun! Clearly it’s not a time to go in miser mode. (Nor are the next two months.)
“Get out your computer and see what kind of deals we can get on bulk candy for Halloween,” he instructed me last night. He figured that if Imitation Chocolate Substance With Possible Traces of Plastic wasn’t going to cut it with me, that we could at least buy the ton that we need online and possibly save money over what we’d pay at the store.
I did my search and found this:
This candy mix is perfect for your church Halloween party! Trunk-or-Treaters love the included Bible Verse Buttermints, Faith Jelly Bean Treat Packets, Tangy Tarts Scripture Candy, Cross-Shaped Swirl Pops, Religious Fish Candy Treat Packets, Carried by the Lord Gummy Fun Packs, Religious Sweet Creams, God Loves Us All Printed Suckers, Tootsie Rolls® and Wonka™ Mix-Ups®. (200 pcs. per unit, 3 lbs.) Assortment may vary.
I laughed so hard while reading this description that I had tears running down my face. I’m a Christian, but absurd stuff like that kills me. I’ll ignore the need for religious themed candy and just ask who the heck came up with those names? “Sweet cream”? “Tangy Tarts”? This sounds like the stuff they’d be handing out after the Hell House tour.
It wasn’t a terrible price, but did lack the Good Candy requirement, so I passed. I’ll probably pick up a dozen bags of whatever good stuff is on sale next week when I’m out by myself. If one of the bags is something he loves, he might just study over the receipt in silence and not even complain. Wouldn’t it be nice?
While I’m sort of on the subject of religion, I saw something even more eyebrow raising yesterday evening.
On the way home from retrieving our pizza from Papa John’s, I saw some people standing by the road — almost in it — waving in such a way that it looked like they were trying to flag someone down. Thinking they needed help, I slowed down a bit to check things out, figuring that I’d turn around if it looked like something I could help with, or call 911.
I didn’t turn around.
The people were standing next to a white kidnapper-style van with no windows that had a huge sign that said, “Prayer Drive Thru.”
I don’t care who or what you believe in, that’s just creepy.
(I found out later that they were using it as a method of advertising for their church, in case you were concerned, as Sam was, that maybe something fishy was going on. There are better ways of doing this, y’all, that doesn’t Killer Clown level creep folks out. Just saying.)