Religious Sweet Creams

Last night, my husband and I were talking about Halloween. More specifically, we were talking about candy. I want the good stuff, and he wants whatever is cheapest. He’s like whatever the step up from Ebeneezer Scrooge would be, but for Halloween.

Even if I haven’t always gotten into dressing up for Halloween or decorating for Halloween, I’ve always looked forward to handing out candy to kids. We would only get like two or three trick-or-treaters where I lived at growing up (rural area and all), and those were usually relatives. So now that I live in the only neighborhood in the same rural area, I like to enjoy the handing out of the candy. And I don’t want to give out crappy candy that gets thrown away immediately after kids sort through it all. I also don’t like the idea that someone might come back and TP our yard if we give them a single tiny Tootsie Roll, as Ebeneezer Sam might if I were to leave him in control of the candy. It’s only one night per year and it’s fun! Clearly it’s not a time to go in miser mode. (Nor are the next two months.)

“Get out your computer and see what kind of deals we can get on bulk candy for Halloween,” he instructed me last night. He figured that if Imitation Chocolate Substance With Possible Traces of Plastic wasn’t going to cut it with me, that we could at least buy the ton that we need online and possibly save money over what we’d pay at the store.

I did my search and found this:

screenshot-2016-10-12-at-12-19-45-am

This candy mix is perfect for your church Halloween party! Trunk-or-Treaters love the included Bible Verse Buttermints, Faith Jelly Bean Treat Packets, Tangy Tarts Scripture Candy, Cross-Shaped Swirl Pops, Religious Fish Candy Treat Packets, Carried by the Lord Gummy Fun Packs, Religious Sweet Creams, God Loves Us All Printed Suckers, Tootsie Rolls® and Wonka™ Mix-Ups®. (200 pcs. per unit, 3 lbs.) Assortment may vary.

I laughed so hard while reading this description that I had tears running down my face. I’m a Christian, but absurd stuff like that kills me. I’ll ignore the need for religious themed candy and just ask who the heck came up with those names? “Sweet cream”? “Tangy Tarts”? This sounds like the stuff they’d be handing out after the Hell House tour.

It wasn’t a terrible price, but did lack the Good Candy requirement, so I passed. I’ll probably pick up a dozen bags of whatever good stuff is on sale next week when I’m out by myself. If one of the bags is something he loves, he might just study over the receipt in silence and not even complain. Wouldn’t it be nice?

Bonus

While I’m sort of on the subject of religion, I saw something even more eyebrow raising yesterday evening.

On the way home from retrieving our pizza from Papa John’s, I saw some people standing by the road — almost in it — waving in such a way that it looked like they were trying to flag someone down. Thinking they needed help, I slowed down a bit to check things out, figuring that I’d turn around if it looked like something I could help with, or call 911.

I didn’t turn around.

The people were standing next to a white kidnapper-style van with no windows that had a huge sign that said, “Prayer Drive Thru.”

facepalm

I don’t care who or what you believe in, that’s just creepy.

(I found out later that they were using it as a method of advertising for their church, in case you were concerned, as Sam was, that maybe something fishy was going on. There are better ways of doing this, y’all, that doesn’t Killer Clown level creep folks out. Just saying.)

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32 thoughts on “Religious Sweet Creams

  1. Holly says:

    Share the Sweetness of Jesus? Um, OK. Gotta love a way to say “This holiday is wrong and belongs to the devil, but I shall take advantage of it anyway to preach to you via cut-rate non-Hershey’s chocolates”.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You should have stopped at the van! Then you too could have felt a slight prick to your neck and woken up hours later surrounded by people wearing sheets carrying Bibles and assault rifles.

    It’s “Carried by the Lord Gummy Fun Packs” for me all the way. If it’s good enough for Him, it’s good enough for me 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Re: van — So often it’s good intent delivered poorly.

    The candy is not new to me, cause Mamaw & Papaw’s church has Trunk-or-Treat every year and we have been twice, and I have seen a few of them. SO, I like the religious sweet creams at Halloween AND again at Christmas, because nativity scene 😉
    But in between, I do like to pic up some non-denominational butter mints at the Mexican restaurant. Theirs are really BIG! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL

      It is. I’ve seen prayer boxes before — serves the same purpose pretty much without the kidnapping factor. +1

      If we go to trunk-or-treat this year, I’m gonna be on the lookout for this candy. I hope a tangy tart ends up going home with me 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, that candy! Carried by the Lord Gummy Fun Packs? I’m dying here. Why not just use the old Easter chocolate crosses. At least chocolate is good, even if it’s kind of weird to be eating something Jesus died on. I actually voted for God Loves Us All Printer Suckers because I thought it said printed stickers, and I figured I’d rather eat paper than the candy. My mistake. It does seem to be high on the list of votes, though!

    We actually go to “Trunk or Treat” at our church with the kids. Just grab candy out of a decorated car trunk. Which is a little weird when you think of it, but other people are around so no kids in the trunk, and they give good candy. They don’t want the church TP’d. Plus it’s done and over with and yay I go home. Too bad we’re past the days when we could eat all of their Halloween candy because they had no teeth.

    Speaking of religious groups screaming at you, I work at a university, so it happens all the time. The last thing I want to hear at 8 AM is how I’m going to Hell. What a bunch of downers. Someone should give them candy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha I had never thought about the “kids in the trunk” aspect 😀 The church we used to go to does that along with carnival games, bounce house, etc., so it’s a good time! I still prefer regular trick or treating, though.

      Oh lord! They could at least be decent and wait until after 10.

      Like

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